Saturday, February 11, 2012

Oh, Joseph


I never heard from him again. I guess he's still thinking of a great idea...

Friday, February 10, 2012

That was weird

There's only 16 days left before I leave Korea, so I'm really trying to savor the moments. Moments like finding a little turd on the floor of the school bathroom. It's precious, you know? Not that floor pooping isn't a totally common thing; it's hard to line everything up properly, I respect that. Shit happens, and sometimes it's to the back, left or right of the squat pot. But this particular turd was standing straight up. Just standing there, perpendicular to the floor. I  don't want to suggest that it was, say, planted that way, but I am saying I've never seen a little poop log stand at attention by itself either...

Then there was the precious moment of watching an elderly man struggle to get up the stairs onto the bus. I felt a little sorry for him because the stairs are quite steep, but then he stumbled and turned around and so everyone could see that actually he's drunk. So drunk he peed his pants. And then he doesn't have money so he has to get off the bus. So he struggles back down the stairs and gives the bus a 'pat-pat' to see it off but the bus still doesn't leave. The driver's looking in his rearview mirror so everyone turns around to check out what he's looking at and it's the old man, of course. He's fallen down, passed out, half on the sidewalk, with his legs dangling out in the street. And then, after I've imagined each of the 100 ways he could die, the bus pulls away...

Yesterday I got my vaccinations for travelling and the translator was explaining which shots they were giving me, yadda, yadda, yadda, oh and don't shower today. Shmexcuse shme? She looked at me, confused by my question, and tells me again, slowly, not to shower because I don't want to get an infection, do I? Umm, yeah, totes. But...do you know what I do with the same water that comes out of the shower? I put it in my mouth and drink it. For breakfast. So if you think the tap water getting through a band aid, into the literal pinprick in my arm will cause an infection then you should take a look at my hard, hard insides...