Friday, July 9, 2010

Word of the Day:


So I'm watching an episode of Chelsea Lately at my desk, which is what I always do when I stare too hard at my Korean homework and it starts to look like squiggles.

This is what I get for trying to conjugate verbs. "Call out the music yo!" It's like a weird rap square dance or something.

Chels (like I know her) was interviewing Jennifer Love Hewwit, or as I liked to call her in high school, Jennifer Loves Hugetits. JLH has recently written a book, evidentally she learned to read and write after her acting career bit off a mouthful of dirt, and in it she talks about vajazzling.

Never heard of it? Well good news, that means you're probably not a weirdo who's into vaginal decoration. Vajazzling is the subtle art of adorning swarovski crystals on your...vajazz. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think lady bits were intended to sparkle. You could poke someone's eye out like that. Not to mention getting a crystal lost in places where crystals should never get lost. What goes up must come out and I'm not interested in birthing a jewel.

Crystals? Pretty.
Beaver? Magestic.
Together? Never.

On a more technical note, how are these attached? She alluded to the fact that one must take a trip to Brazil first, but then what? Glue? What if you accidentally seal something shut? How long do they stay on? What do you do with them afterwards? Can you wash and reuse or are these swarovski crystals of the disposable variety? Can one substitute rhinestones for the same effect? Can you also penijazzle? If so, ouch?

Back to verbs...

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