Start by taking your least favourite coat hanger and bending it into a circle. Leave the hook bit, as it will continue to serve as a hook. Then glue bits of nature all over it; I started with some green pine needle-y branches, then added aumtumnal leaves and glittered pinecones, which appear frosted in this photo but I assure you that is all glitter, all the time. Once you're finished you're going to want to take a picture of it because you're definitely going to knock it over upwards of two times and destroy it immediately.
Wreath no.2:
Wire hanger circle again, then glue pinecones on top and green needle clusters underneath. It looks a little sparse, I'M AWARE, so I think I'm going to add another ring of pincones to bolster it up a bit. Holiday bonus: this wreath doubles as an Elizabethan dog collar thing.
Snowfrakes: just cut away everything that doesn't look like a snowflake, but for the love of god don't cut the seam. I suggest using old speech contest papers for this craft so you can chop away at children's dreams.
And finally, le piece de resistence; Christmas tree, my christmas tree, how lovely are your makeshift branches. I'm not even going to explain how I did this because I have eyes, I know how it looks, and I know you dont want to recreate this fragile, crooked excuse for a tree. I wanted to add more decorations and lights, but the branches dried out and now I can't even touch it or the whole thing will blow into the wind. Merry Fucking Christmas Charlie Brown.
Not to worry though, it'll look great with all the presents stacked up underneath. The presents my mom forgot to send in time for christmas. Merry Sometime-in-January everybody! I hope Santa brings wine this year...
2 comments:
I LOVE that tree. It's awesome. A little cut out of santa and the reindeers taped to the wall and you've got all you need!
Thank you! Me and my little tree are so thrilled. Happy holidays!
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