Sunday, June 27, 2010

From your realtor

Memo to the Maldives:

I know you've been looking for a new homeland, what with the water level in the bathrub getting too high and all (back story here), and I think I might have found a few places for you. Here's the specs:

The first one is quite an old piece of land, but it was remodelled in the late '40's. I'll be honest, the neighbourhood had kind of a bad reputation, but I think some new blood is just what they need. Plus it's already got the whole 'new homeland' vibe foing for it. There's a lovely strip of beachfront property along the mediterranean sea that might be available too, and there's hardly any gunfire this time of year. Comes with nuclear capability, but it's sort of a hush-hush signing bonus. I'll be honest, there's quite a bit of interest in this area so act fast and carry a tall stick. By stick I mean gun, you're definitely going to need a gun.

I know you have that whole 'paradise' thing going for you now, but this next place is a real up and comer. It's a littly chilly right now, but if the weather trends were seeing continue you'll have beautiful beaches again within the next few hundred years. Plus, it's currently vacant so you don't have to worry about previous tenants. Well, except the penguins!

Finally, I think we should consider something a little further away. It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but the view is great. Currently no vegetation to speak of, but also no other life forms to worry about. Small gravity issue, but I think that'll work in our favour in getting the downpayment down a few k.

Let me know when you're ready and we can talk about my commission.

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