B is for Cookie

So I was all set to write a post about how I accomplished all my goals from last week but then my mother phoned. She got to talking about something and something and it ended with her talking about how she still talks to my ex (it's been four years, which is like twelve in break up years). But she said it real snarky, like she knows I don't like it, but she likes to do it anyway, so I called her 'a sassy one'. She hung up on me. Now I'm sitting on the phone letting it ring until she picks up. Did you know after 52 rings it cuts you off? (My folks don't believe in answering machines, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know how to turn off the ringer.) Doesn't stop me. I'll keep calling, I've got nothing better to do while the new episode of Californication loads. Which reminds me:

Look what I knit! It's a...circle scarf? That's generous. ...a bib? Maybe. A fall weather crop top? Don't mind if I do.

Gratuitous holes for maximum nipple slippage curtesy of my wayward yarn manouvering skills. Second chin curtosey of the second helping, fifth cookie, extra cream habits of mine.

Military alphabet is a semi-check, but I should review again this week.
Californication is a definite check.
Showering three times was a check, but I ran out of deoderant and didn't make it to the dollerama house of toiletries yet so I feel these things cancel themselves out.

New week, new goals!

Do I have any? No.

Can you recommend some please?

If you say soduko I swear to shit I will take a tiny poo inside your slippers. Small enough you won't notice it right away, big enough it will squish between your toes and get all up in the wool lining. It'll get stuck underneath your toenails and I will forever call you shit foot.

But anything other than math related games, please recommend. My new show to cruise through this week is Mad Men. By the end of the week I'll be wearing pointy bras, smoking unfiltereds and slapping ladies bums. But now I'll have a reason.

My mom is still not picking up. Bless her heart.