Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Top Tall

Yesterday at a visit to the back doctor I found out that I have an extra bone in my spine. The doctor says most people have only 5 lumbar vertebrae but I have 6 and that's why I'm tall. I thought maybe he was intuitively aware of my desire to be both tall and unique and was just flattering me, but the internet says only 10% of people have 6 lumbar vertebrae. I guess what I'm saying is that medically speaking, I'm awesome.

Of course the disks around my special 6th vertebrae are inflamed and pressing on a nerve, but maybe that makes them more awesome? They really wanted me to know about them and the good work they do at getting me well up and over the national height average of most countries (and exactly on par with the Dinaric Alps, which in full disclosure I've never even heard of) so they started making a little fuss to call attention to themselves. Well played, special 6th. Much respect. But after this shout out please stop being inflamed because it's kind of a bitch.

Also: the doctor said as part of my therapy I can't do sit ups. Can't do situps. Are you freaking kidding me? Trust me, I've experimented with this idea in the past and it turns out I have the body shape of a walrus, so I'm just going to keep doing situps untill the sea cows come home mmmkay.

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