Things you never want to hear during a gynecological exam

We're going to need a bigger speculum.

You know, we can fix that.

How handsome.

Have you given birth recently?

Did you come straight from the gym?

Ewwww....

Don't see that everyday.

How retro.

Your feet smell.

Nurse, can you bring the longer gloves?

I used to be a veterinarian.

Can you smell that?

Can you hear that?

So I take it you don't have a boyfriend.

Slippery, huh?

You know, in some cultures...

Have you been wiping back to front?

How quaint.

That reminds me, I need to clean out my fridge.

I forsee great fortune in your future.

Oh, I saw this in a textbook once...

Finders keepers!

I'm sorry, I should really take this call.

Ooooh fancy!

Do you have a cat?

Only one of those has happened to me sooooooo, I think me and my lady bits are doing pre-ty well.