B is for Cookie

ATTN FOSHIES:

Stop it.

Stop being young and optimistic and full of hopes and dreams.
Stop being bright eyed and bushy tailed and having a generally positive outlook on life.
Stop thinking that your degree means something, that McGill is such a great academic institution, that you will one day be employed in the field of your choice and have the opportunity to utilise all the wonderful information you'll learn over the next four years.
Stop thinking that you have the mental capacity to actually learn something over the next four years. Most of you don't. The rest? Well they will lose all interpersonl skills from spending so much times alone with their books in the library.

Stop having fun, stop getting crunk ass drunk, stop with the chants, the group identifying t-shirts, the general yelling, screaming and merriment.

Stop excercising your newfound freedom, stop staying out, like, super late. Stop hooking up with, like, cute dudes. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Start hating yourselves, your lives, everything and everyone around you.
Start freaking the fuck out about how much reading you have to do and start having regular panic attacks.
Start being cynical immediately.
Start pretending not to know people you see in the hallways. Start moving your worldly posessions into the library and wondering when the last time you saw the sun was.
Oh, and you should probably start calling the student clinic for an appointment to get that rash checked out. I'm sure they'll fit you in by the end of the semester.

I'd rather be a redman than a fucking bumblebee, but mostly I'm pretty glad to be done school.

Get fucked.

In case you're not furtunate to be here right now, this is exactly what frosh is sounds like, but times 1000, in random pockets of awful all over downtown.