A recent voicemail from my mother:
"Hi, so I was just calling to let you know that we're going to be out of town this weekend, but Dad will have his cell with him, well I will too but mine doesn't work, plus Dad's gets paid for by the company so just call that one, and anyway we'll be back on Tuesday, your brother is staying home by himself, I'm not too sure about that but he has driver's training on Monday so I guess he'll have to stay but I just don't trust him hanging around with your brother...oh, and I also wanted to ask you if you've asked Jesus Christ into you heart as your lord and savior yet. With the way the world is going I just think you should probably do that right away if you haven't already. As long as you're on a good path then you'll be accepted into heaven and all you have to do is ask Jesus into your heart. Okay, bye."
Of all the churches in all the towns, she had to walk into the Evangelical one.
For the love of God Mother, stay away from the light.