Possible names for segment: Fat Bitches Say Stupid Shit. Big n' Dumb. Obesity is the Leading Cause of Ineptitude. Stop Phoning Me You Tubby Idiot.
Let me know your favorite potential title, or feel free to request something new. I'm always looking for new ways to illustrate the inverse relation between the size of their waistline and their brain.
"Does this product give you diahrea? Is that why it's called Drain Out? Cause I just had a movement that was lemon yellow, like mucus."
Mmmmmmm, lemon cream pie for dinner.
"I'm 5,3" - how much weight should I lose?"
Oh, ok, well in that case, all people who are 5,3" should lose twenty pounds. All of them. Because contrary to popular belief, how much you should lose really has nothing to do with how much you currently weigh. Nothing. Also, do you have hair? Because right now we're hearing that all people with hair should get a fucking clue. That costs extra.
Call 1-800-idol-05 to vote for this segment. Phone lines will be open until Ryan Seacrest is hospitalized for exhaustion.