Ricky Martin is Gay!
Ricky Martin has announced today that he is gay, approximately nine years after people stopped giving a shit. The pop singer says he no longer fears damaging his career with this admission becuase he no longer has one. Commentators suggest that Martin has just come out of "the most fabulous closet since Elton John." There is further speculation that said closet had to be structurally reinforced to resist the heat from the flaming gay boy stashed inside.
The news came as a surprise to several women who have been living under a rock for the last decade. One woman who recieved the news on her car radio went into shock, causing a comedic twelve car pileup on the only road in town. She is currently being treated in hospital and doctors say it is vital that she "gets a clue" before she is released.
Devoted female fans can still hear She Bangs sung by the straight and very available William Hung.