On Sitting Quietly for Eight Hours Straight

Unknowingly and unintentionally, you will learn things about yourself. Such as:

1. I have the attention span of a fruit fly who forgot to take his ritalin after eating three to five sugar cubes.

2. Knitting is only as interesting as the other thing you're doing while you're knitting. If the other thing you're doing is watching a video recording of a Canadian radio talk show, then knitting's only getting a participation ribbon in this contest.

3. I am a person who would read Kayne West's twitter account. And I am a person who would consider the validity of "Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on," (possibly true, but you should check if there's a just pea underneath) "Palace of Versailles is the shit" (I think that's exactly what Louis 14 told the architect) and "Office clothes are the shit" (do you mean business casual? If so, false. And if sweater vests and castles both fall under the category of 'the shit' we might need some sub-categories for reference. I'd say the historical architecture is a pretty big dump, while dress pants are more of a constipation than an actual shit.)

4. I am not above giving my computer screen the finger. Reason? I didn't like the search results it brought up for sweet and sour chicken recipe. New low? Or technology finally being put in its place? Probably the former.

5. I will stop and have a one sided conversation for upwards of five minutes with a very special 5th grade girl sitting on the school's stoop covering all of her visible skin with iodine. From now on she will be known as Strange Little Orange Girl.

6. That is all. For now.