Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Week in the Life

Back from holidays, back to work, if you can call it that. Only in Korea would you have to play musical desk chairs becuase there's not enough computers for everyone in the one air conditioned office. While we were away I recieved a facebook message from my aunt asking how I was doing and what a typical week was like for me in North Korea.

My family thinks I live in North Korea.

I could assume this was an innocent mistake. I could correct her and give a brief geography/history lesson. But that would be big of me, and I'm so very very small.

Dear Aunty Pat,

Where to begin? In North Korea there is no beginning or end to our weeks, only days that turn into years, that turn into entire lifetimes. I'll start with Wednesday, because that's rice ration day. At least it was. Back when there was rice. Anyhoo...

Wednesday, 4:45am: I awake as per usual to the sound of the Dear Leader's voice from the loudspeakers positioned on both sides of my head. He has such a lovely singing voice, our Dear Leader. I take a quick bath in the rain bucket, saving the water to brush my teeth with after. Waste not, want not the Dear Leader says! Today I will go wait for our rice rations. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, 11:56pm: No rice today, America's fault. Not too worry though, the Great Leader will provide. He works tirelessly from beyond the grave.

Thursday: Today we must tend to the fields. The ox passed away of natural causes last week (we killed him for food, naturally.) Now my friend Min Su must pull the plow. It's funny because she looks like an ox. Unfortunately she's not nearly as strong so we will not be able to plant as much this year. Still, seeing her strapped in the harness like that was priceless.

Friday: Marching practice today!

Hope I'm doing this right!!

Tuesday: Tuesday already? Oh dear me, I think I may have blacked out from hunger after marching for 17 hours straight. I mean, not hunger, umm, I passed out from...happiness! Sometimes it can be overwhelming to be the happiest people on earth, but we try to grin and bear it.

Well that's all for now, I'm off to paint a 35 story mural depicting 112 ways the Dear Leader is the greatest man alive. I belive I'll be working on section #75: Our Dear Leader Has Such Handsome Toes.

Death to America,

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