I'm trying to get on bitethebedbugs blogroll becuase, well, at 3:00 on a Monday that seems like the most productive thing I could possibly do. Also, she's great and when I grow up I want to be like her. Unfortunately due to genetics I'll probably be a lot crazier than her so I feel like I should be more realistic. If the stars are in outer space I'm aiming for somewhere just above the atmosphere.
To be on the blogroll you have to answer the following questions:
1. Have you ever eaten a stale donut in the dark?
2. Have you ever taken expired drugs?
3. Have you ever broken a bone or a boner?
4. Have you ever dressed up like the back brace girl from Sixteen Candles?
5. Have you ever set a kitchen fire?
6. Have you ever dressed up to go to Safeway in case the firemen are there?
7. Do you like tacos?
8. Are you a sporadic vitamin taker?
9. Do you think Hawaiian pizza is a crime against nature?
10. If I asked you right now in what aisle I might find arm braces in Target, would you know?
Here are my answers:
1. I have never let a doughnut live long enough get stale. No doughnuts left behind.
2. Drugs, food, relationships...anything past it's prime is about right for me.
3. I've broken a boner, like, emotionally. It's more of a wither than a crack, but I think it counts.
4. No, but I DO like to do Ducky's dance from Pretty in Pink alone in my living room.
5. Chicken breast stuffed with spinach and goat cheese wrapped in bacon. At the moment when I should have been deciding if it's baking soda or baking powder you throw on a grease fire I was shouting "GREASE FIRE! GREASE FIRE!" and then grabbed it with my hands and blew it out like a birthday cake. No moustache wax that week.
6. I'm not into firemen. I have dressed up only because I thought putting clothes on and leaving the house before dinner time would make me feel better about my life. Wrong.
7. Love. Miss desperately. Currently in South Korea where fermented cabbage is the snack choice of 50 million people.
8. I take them after I get sick, when it's already too late, and then complain that they're not working.
9. No. Hawaiian pizza is God's way of saying, "Sorry I tricked you back there in the garden. Since you've been banished, please accept this free gift of pineapple on your pizza."
10. Originally from Canada, currently in South Korea, never seen a Target with my own eyes. When in doubt, take three consecutive lefts.
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