It's Me vs. Them. I lose every time.
Them: "I really need to lose the weight so I can get rid of the diabetes."
Me: "No. Wrong. False. Things there are not cures for: diabetes, cancer, aids, your stupidity."
Me: "Can you read me the 9 numbers printed above your name on the backside of the order form?"
Me: "No. Wrong. You just counted to nine. You fail."
Them: "Does it sales good?"
Me: "That question is so bad I'm not even sure what you're asking. Does it sell well? Are the sales good? Is it on sale, if so is it a good sale? Do you even realize how far from grasping the English language you are?"
Them: "Do you have any gum?
Them: "Oh. Ok."
"I need to send this product back for a refund. I didn't lose any weight, I'm still 120lbs."
Me: Get fucked.