Today.

Today I was digging through the bargain bin for pants and I started to feel really good about myself becuase the size I normally wear looked too big for me. As it turned out they were men's pants. On the bright side, I am small for a man.

Today a homeless man with 'K-9' tottooed on his forehead told me to remember to pray. I told him to remember not to get K-9 tatooed on his face.

I hope this is his favorite movie.

I suppose it's better than a tattoo of Jim Belushi on your forehead.

But only becuase of this.

Fat man and a hot wife? What will they think of next?

This came out after According to Jim. Belushi, are you in some kind of trouble? Do you need money? I will give you ten dollars if you quit doing shitty sitcoms and straight to video movies.