I bolted out of my white collar prison at exactly 4:30 yesterday and headed for the boot racks outside the classroom where everyone keeps their shoes. It was raining tigers and wolves yesterday so I was sporting my new rain boots even though the rest of the faculty still found it appropriate to wear 4" heels. Not the point. The point is I go to reach for my size extra-largeee boots and oh, wait, what's this... The little fuckers stole my boot! Boot, singular, because there's still one left. Those evil little shits, those pint sized pieces of crap, took my god damned left boot.
As I stood fuming next to the nearly empty bootrack the only comforting thought in my mind was, 'they're going to be in so much trouble.' At that moment I thought of how satisfying it would be to see the little shits squirm because everyone knows that hell hath no fury like a tiny Korean woman in slippers. I even thought how nice it might be if I too got to take part in the festivities. There would be no need for explaining to the little ingrates their misdeeds, just yelling and cursing and bears, oh my! Muah-ah-ah-ah!
Update: Arrived at school this morning and told my teachers about the incident (they had left before me yesterday, so they were unaware). I explained the story and then waited for something like, but not necessarily indignation. Something...rage-y. What I got was giggles. Giggles! "Oh, that happened to me last year. I got it back" co-teacher said flippantly and then turned back to her cell phone. My other teacher said she'd ask her classes about it. End of conversation. So now I'm out a boot and I didn't even get to see heads roll for it. What. a. rip.