Monday, October 19, 2009
Little Baby Lives Upstairs
A baby has moved in to the apartment above my bedroom. I am assuming that the baby is living alone because surely if there were also adults in the apartment they would make the damn thing stop crying. Right? But then who is doing the loud stomping? Is it the baby flailing itself about the house becuase it lives alone but hasn't learned to walk yet? I realize the baby probably doesn't yet understand what it's like to work 65 hours in one week, but I'm sure if it had then it would appreciate that I would prefer to listen to the sound of myself crying, and not it's pathetic little 'oh my diaper is poopy' crying. My metaphorical diaper of life is poopy, ok kiddo? Put that in your college fund and smoke it. I think the previous tennants sporadic, jerky sex noises were even preferable over this, becuase at least I knew he was going to finish up in a matter of minutes and then not get laid again for months. This kid will probably keep crying until he's twelve, at which point I assume he'll get a guitar and learn to play emo music.