Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Does anyone else prefer Kirstie Alley fat?

Skinny Kirstie is so severe. She seems harsh and shrill in a way hungry people always are. She reminds me of that awful Amish movie she did with Tim Allen. Her only redeeming quality is her role in It Takes Two, where her character was the dowdy, lovable foil to the actual skinny woman.

Fat Kirstie though, she looks comfortable. Like you could burrow your way into her bosom and come out with perfectly softened jujubes. She reminds me that there are marshmallows in the cupboard and wouldn't it be nice to wear a full length skirt in pubic?

I think fat Kirstie is the kind of woman who licks her bowls clean, uses her fingers to get the last of the pudding out of the container and brings bowls of ice cream into the bathtub. I think she has a large kitchen, where she keeps multiple cake on multiple stands and usually wears an apron. She gives meaning to words like 'zaftig' and 'seconds, please.'

Get down with your fat self Kirstie. G'head girl, go on, get down.

No comments: