I've been collecting little nuggets from my job with the intention of doing a big BEST OF post, but I've just gotten too many and it's a little overwhelming so I've decided to give them each their turn in the spotlight in a little segmet I'll call Pervy Mondays. Each Monday I'll pick the best of the week and share them with you.
I'll include notes about accents, pronounciation, and so forth, so you can get the full image of each individual loser and anything in italics is what I would like to have said, but instead pulled the phone cord a little tighter around my neck.
For the week of 9/11/09:
(in a low, slow voice of the kind that has been coated in some kind of oil based product and is audibly greasy)
"When I masterbate I can get strong and hard no problem, see, but when it comes to anal sometimes I just start squirting before I even get in there." (*the first 'a' in anal pronounced like 'apple.')
This is my full time job. Sometimes I wipe my tears away with my university diploma.