Brittney's Top 5 Must Haves for Spring 2009
1. New Birkenstocks
My last pair have gone to the big hippie heaven in the sky and I just can't live without them. Room for my little piggies, arch support for my lurking lower back problems, and no one questions when I forget to shave my armpits.
I'll be honest, my forehead is a little cesspool of sweat in the summer and when it's humid my hair goes haywire. Plus, headbands are, like, so DVF spring collection '09.
Loving the thighs as well, I wonder if they carry those in my size.
4. Textured Tights
I just bought flower lace ones, but I would slap a baby for fleur de lis ones.
Not those shoes though. Metal heels are a little too 'industrial hooker' for me.
To help with my transition from backpack to briefcase (or hairnet) I am in the market for a snappy blazer. You know how every fashion blog you've ever read has 'vintage' blazers that look brand new? I want that. This girl has a million and they're fabulous and I want them all as well as her interesting haircut and general awesomeness.
This one is vintage Dior, which I suppose will do.
A broad category, I grant you. I'll try and narrow down my dress needs. I want fulls skirts, belted waists, fun prints, bright colours. H&M you've read my mind:
Plus Michelle Obama wears H&M and she gets to fuck Barack soooooo that's pretty much all the advertisement that store will ever need.
Now here's the question: full length dresses, yes or no? I love them. Qualifier: I love them on tall broads with long flowing hair who happen to be stomping down a catwalk.
See these girls are going somewhere. They're doing something. But somewhere and something fabulous, like beachfront clam bakes in the Hamptons. Or poolside wine tasting in the Hills. Or picking up a 12 pack and a plunger to take back to a dingy apartment in the sweltering humidity of mid-summer Montreal... this is no doubt why the lady on the bottom left has a broad brim and gloves on.
What do you think? Can Joe-lene the plumber pull off full length dresses or is this reserved for the eccentricities of the upwardly mobile?
6. Silicon Baking Pans
Obviously I lied, this is no longer a Top 5 list. If you're really upset stop reading. Also, this isn't spring fashion so much as all year baking needs. In any case, silicon is the shiznit in both boobular and bundt cake form. Silicon pans don't break, don't burn and cakes just pop right out. Plus if you've ever wanted your meatloaf to have roses imprinted on the top, you are in a buttload of luck.
Thus concludes Brittney's Top 6 Must Haves for Spring 2009. Watch for me on the streets wearing birkenstocks, headbands, patterned tights, multiple dresses, and pretty cakes. I might also be carrying a 12 pack and a plunger; fashion is a state of mind, and I prefer mine to be altered.
Now here's the question: full length dresses, yes or no?
As a 'short broad' I don't need any help looking short and stout thus the full length dress is out of the question. Someone wise once told me, you've got no boobs so you might as well show off your legs. I take this advice VERY seriously.
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