B is for Cookie

When I woke up this morning I thought I should blog about the dream I had: there was this baby, but he had a face like an adult, and he could talk and walk and he was as tall as maybe a five year old. Then I stopped for a second, realized that my dream was actually a fucking Wayans Brothers movie, and punched myself straight in the nose.


Thanks for the quality movies fellas. I really appreciate the way you just run with the worst possible ideas, and then try to fool stupid people into thinking it's good with cra-azy costumes or really intense greenscreen crap. Keenan, Damon, Shawn, Marlon, you remember In Living Colour, right? THAT is how long black men dressed as white women is funny for. I'll watch that in a sketch. I might even laugh. I will not waste my precious few dollars and two hours of my life on your mid-life crisis.
Anyway, someone famous whose name I can't remember once said, "Other people's dreams are only funny if you're in them or someone's having sex." I guess this post is only interesting if your last name is Wayans or you're a pedophile.

However, considering that at the moment my real life consists of eating a box of cookies while watching Say Yes to the Dress in my pajamas, I thought maybe you'd appreciate the dream instead. But I gotta go, Nicole, who wants to look like a princess on her wedding day, just said that her fiancee, Marcus, makes her a better person and then started crying. I'm going to be here all day.