Crotch Shot!!!
I believe its Newton's 3rd law that states when one big ol' thigh rubs up against the other big ol' thigh over an extended period of time your $40 jeans will disintegrate in the upper thigh/crotchular region. When we learned about friction for the first time in grade four the whole class started yelling, "That's humping!! FRICTION IS HUMPING!!" And I was all, "Yeah, friction!...humping! (What's humping?) Yeah, friction is humping!!"
This is the before picture. Except where there's chewed fingernails painted sassy red, picture a little pooch of upper thigh skin.
Killer swatch, compliments of roommate extraordinaire Tay-tay, who has things like floral fabric on hand at all times.A little nip, a little tuck and stitch and, wait, screw up, cut thread, re-do, and viola!
Double crotch shot, in case you had erased that image from your mind.
Actually, in the end it didn't look very good at all. You can just kind of see flowers poking up around my bum when I walk and it looks kind of like my extremely long floral underpants are trying to escape somehow. I don't blame them. I'm going to try this on a beat up old jean jacket next. How exciting! How craftastic! You can go ahead and crafturbate to that one.
1 comment:
i see 5 boners.
one of them is in your floral pants, four of them are in mine.
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