Friday, April 17, 2009

Giant, Friendly.

I recently got a new computer, It's name is Puter and it is one of those ittsy bittsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot numbers. Minus the yellow and the polka dots. It's the kind of computer that all the Asian kids in my classes had several years ago while the rest of the world was still struggling with wireless (Internet through the air???? Not where I'm from mister).

The thing I've come to realize about tiny computers is that the smaller the computer, the larger the owner feels. It's kind of like pubes: if you trim back the hedges the tree looks bigger. If by bushes you mean several inches of screen and by tree you mean the rest of my body, then yes, I am a giant. Thanks Acer.

eg #1:
Does this computer make my feet look big?
I could crush the whole damn thing with my meat hooks.

And, of course....
Hey Jenny Craig, my ass is bigger than a computer, what kind of meal plan do you have for that? $12.99 a day for a big bag of fucking nothing? Grrreaat! I'll be as small as Kirstie Alley in no time!

Oh but wait...
Holy shit that computer is huge! It's practically a desktop next to my little knockers!

If I had a penis that would be the next photo....sadly you'll have to use your imaginations.

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