Tuesday, April 7, 2009

YouTube Comments Make Me Pray the Mayans Are Right

Fuck the children. I believe the youtube comment section is the future. You know how sometimes people say that how they act when they're drunk is how they really are? No, what you write under the videos on youtube is how you really are. What you take prescious time out of your day to write down under a video of a cat jumping through a flaming hoop is a perfect window into the human condition. Anonymity is the devil's plaything. Opinions are his henchmen. But don't mind me, here are some examples:

On the aformentioned cat/flaming hoop video:

lillorio: "cats a retarded."

Thanks lillorio. That cat is totally 'a retarded'. Know what else is 'a retarded'? A name that means a tiny cookie.

On a documentary on gentrification:

PJStock42: "white people rule the earth. deal with it. so sorry that we move into your ghettos and make them respectable places to live.  what a fucking joke the nigger race is."

Dunncha: "Barack Obama. Black man in charge now. What ya gonna do?"

PJStock42: "he's half white. his nigger half has led him to fuck things up already only 3 months into office."

pdfpowers: "Why isn't this documentary in english?"

(Note: It is. It's just a black man speaking with hip-hop music in the background. I guess the 'white race' doesn't hear too well.)

Now I thought maybe I was just choosing particularly bad videos, so I went to the home page and picked the first featured video listed. It was a video about baking a french pastry, tarte tatin. Lovely, non?

jokusuper: oooh spider-man
(note: spiderman was not featrued or mentioned in any way, shape, or form in this video)

GrosRapCaca: You look klingon!
(No, no she doesn't, in any way, shape, or form, look klingon GrosRapCaca.)

The commentary then devolved into a debate on whether it's 'caramel,' 'carmel,' or...'coreamel.' This debate got so heated someone was called 'fugly' and one post was removed by the author.

Then, just to prove how random this experiment is, I did the inevitable: I youtube'd my own name. And, although it's spelled differently, I got the inevitable......teenage girls dancing in their bedroom. To Sandstorm, no less.

But you know what? Not a single comment. God Bless YouTube.

1 comment: