Thursday, April 2, 2009

I received the instructions for my take-home final exam today and, I shit you not, this is actually what was written on the first page:

If, by some twist of fate, a dire circumstance of an earth-shattering magnitude arises, do not contact TA Nadia Kurd; contact me, Professor Clinger, directly. I will require an affidavit from a health authority on official letterhead in a typed, not handwritten form. After I have received this document by courier directly from this authority and confirmed its authenticity, I may give consideration as to whether the circumstance is dire. If I decide it is, you will then receive a K for the course. (K meaning incomplete)

Affidavit, really?
Typed on letterhead, really?
Courier, really?

After a 1 page explanation of McGill's 'K' policy, (I'll spare you the details, but it involves signing forms) she goes on:

The following excuses are not ‘dire’ circumstances: lost keys, late trains or plane flights, flat tires, bus delays, the robbery of your personal property (including notes, books, and computers), flu, an extended Easter holiday, job interviews, taking care of a sick friend, computer problems, a family reunion, a wedding, the unavailability of a library book, etc.

I couldn't help but notice ma'am that you didn't include 'my dog ate it.' Rookie mistake. Now I'm sure you will receive no less than 27 'my dog ate it' excuses because dogs just love the taste of 16th century Italian printmaking.

This is also a woman who wants only 'high quality' images and will not accept online printouts of the works you are referencing. Instead you have to try to find the image in a book and then print it out on the high quality photocopier that costs more. Which is awesome, because Art History 326 is actually the only class I'm taking this semester and I have just a whole god damn bunch of time to spare on unnecessary shit.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to refresh my facebook page.

One time I wrote a whole paper on this fine piece of ass. Yum-O.

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