Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Valleyview Valley Views

About once a week, depending on when they get around to sending it, I receive my subscription to a little publication called the Valley Views. This is the weekly newspaper that serves the town, near the hamlet, near the farm where I lived my first 17 years. (For those not in the know, a hamlet is a community smaller than a village, which is exactly what Little Smoky is.)

This is actually the only map online that shows Little Smoky:
Oh hai! That's me at the bottom waving from the farm!

Anyway, this post is not about Little Smoky, or Valleyview, although I did find this wonderful photo of main street on google image:
Must be rush hour.

ANYway, this post isn't even about the Valley Views newspaper because I have not the time nor strength to tackle the enormity of that wonderful publication, not to mention the little firecracker that runs the show, the one and only, Ms. Joan Plaxton:
No, today I am merely going to pass on to you a little story in the paper about a young man I went to school with who recently was arrested for poaching. Here are some highlights:

Mr. Blair Dietzen, age 20, was arrested for illegal hunting.

After a bush party.

Where he admitted, in court, to drinking and smoking marijauna.

From which he drove to a field.

Which was within shooting distance of an inhabited house.

Where he shot three deer and a moose.

From inside his truck.

With his mother's rifle.

Upon hearing the shots the Report-a-Poacher hotline was notified and fish and wildlife officers went to investigate.

At which point Dietzen fled the scene.

And a 16 km long chase ensued.

When finally caught he told the officers that he did it (and this is a direct quote) "becuase their tenderloins are killer" and because "they were too dumb to run away."

Dietzen faces 13 charges, including my favorite, "wasting the edible flesh of a game animal."

He faces fines between $15,000-$20, 000, a lifetime hunting ban and possible jail time.

Also...Dietzen used to teach younger childer about the sport of hunting.

T.I.A. (This Is Alberta)
Which one's Bambi?

Oh, there she is!

(This dress is from a facebook group that came up on my newsfeed one day because people I know joined the group. For cereal.)

Anyway, now I'm homesick and I gotta get back to work.

1 comment:

J.T said...

This brought tears to my eyes. Ok maybe I'm emotional today but regardless, you summed up our fair province with such eloquence. This reminds me of the time my cousin was suspended from school because he showed up after killing a buck without changing the clothes he used to to clean his kill. Apparently his principal didn't take kindly to him being a biohazard in math class. I'm not sure if this was before or after he egged his school because they determined he was too wasted to attend the high school dance. Court Disposition: 40 community service hours.