Obligatory Graduation Post

I wrote my last exam today. Not to be a bummer or anything, but I have zero job prospects, zero cash monies, and I'm basically in the red in terms of hope. However, while I was wandering around aimlessly and things started to get burly from my panic tears I ran into a security gaurd who asked me if I was done. I told him yes, I just wrote my last exam, I'm completely done forever. And he said to me, 'Wonderful! You're free! You can fly!' (He actually for cereal said that, I couldn't make up something so tv-movie). And I said, 'Actually free just means unemployed, which feels less like flying and more like sinking. But thank you.' And he laughed and I laughed and then he went back to his paid job and I went back to my unpaid internship with depression. Then I walked outside and found two beer, just sitting on the ground, unopened and all alone and I thought to myself, this isn't a bad way to start the rest of my life.

And for my next act I shall climb up the mountain, get drunk, and pee downhill so it runs onto campus. Tomorrow I steal a potted plant.

Who wouldn't hire this face? Come on.